It's weird what happens to our eyes when we become obese. I didn't see it. I hated seeing pictures of me and don't have very many because of that. But when I'd look into the mirror I always thought, "I'm not THAT bad".
Taking my kids to those play places full of tubes and ball pits where plenty of parents put on the knee pads and joined their kids I certainly couldn't keep up with them but I was still blind. I became one of those parents that would take the kids to fun places and I'd sit and watch and thought "that's what parents do" but in retrospect I couldn't really have done anything else.
My goals became intellectual and not physical for a few years and I went to college, got my degree. I helped with the design and building of my house. I read self-help books about how to have a happy marriage. I dabbled in religions and tried to find the meaning of life. I was doing many, many thing to become a better person on the inside while the outside "wasn't that bad" and so I ignored it.
Over the years I started diets, joined clubs, watched infomercials and bought lots of products. I would attempt to do something about my weight but for whatever reason I was just never getting it. I tried the Beet Juice Diet, Eating for your Blood Type, Tony Little workouts, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Atkins Diet, Ephedra pills, etc.
Finally in 2001, as I was losing my marriage, I went to the doctor desperate to get help. I found out that I had hypothyroidism which can make it hard or even impossible to lose weight if not controlled properly. That was my "Aha"! moment. THAT was the reason I was so fat! I had a "health problem" that made me fat (haha, ya right). What that diagnoses did was give me a valid excuse for having lost myself to food.
No comments:
Post a Comment